across oceans and over skies.

finally home after abt 36 hrs out.
massive man.
i stank lyk a pig i swear.
so wat if i showered.
i wore the same disgusting clothes and underwear for eons.
gags.
i'm finally cleaned and exfoliated and conditioned.
feels good.
i wanna go joy riding dammit.
i wanna go speeding ard the island with the wind in my hair!
anyway.
met up with a dozen of pple in tt 30odd hrs i was out.
and i'm so glad.
bitched and yakked and talked abt the world.
finished my boring book and started on the highly recommended one.
super chim.
takes alot of effort to read.
hope i wont take more than 2 weeks to finish it.
anyway.
somehow mum's in a better mood today than the past 2 weeks.
coz she vented it on an asshole.
and i'm glad.
coz mum and the maid cleaned up my room for me.
at least it's neater and less dusty.
hurs.
good.
now i only need to put them in place.
smile.
i need a manicure.
and a shopping spree in bangkok.
i hope we manage to book the flights and the accomodation.
-prays-
anyway.
if u cldnt alr guess.
fishing is off.
stupid shits.
i was dying to fish for some marlins alrite.
blardy hell!!

i realized i've been makeup-less for quite a few days alr.
been shuttling between my bed and the toilet.
my chair and the bed.
my bed and mun's bed.
life has slowed down a lil these 2 or 3 days.
i've been waking up at the ungodliest hrs.
and slping only when the sun rises.
chain smoking kills the cash.
more than the body.
i even lost the habit of drinking tea in the mornings.
there are no more mornings nowadays.
mayb i'll go make some later.
the weather has become too hot for tea.
but it's a cooler night tonight.
i'm quite sick of mun's ps2.
prolly lug it back one day.
oh yes.
we're going fishing on sat!
cant wait.
i've nvr gone fishing in my life.
and i cant wait to catch my first fish.
hopefully a marlin or tuna.
-snorts-
i need a new hair colour.
and i'm going for training at nab on mon!
cant wait to work either.

sighs.
sighs.
sighs.
sighs.
sighs.
sighs.
sighs.
sighs.
sighs.
sighs.
i'm sorry to put you thru all the shit.
apparently time will make everything clearer.
bear with me.

if u dont understand.
you prolly wont ever do.
dont even bother trying.
nobody's right all the time.
i'm just trying to get my fucken point across to you.
and i nvr tot i'd have to yell.

i haven slpt properly for a few days now.
since the boozing at gabe's place.
i think i fell aslp at 4 or 5 this morning.
and woke up every hr until now.
yeah.
tt's how bad it is.
but it's not tt bad thinking tt i'm heading to the beach in awhile.
but i'm contemplating.
rahs.
i'm tired.
and my eyes are puffy.
and i swear my mom's crazy.
2 strangers are moving in our hse today.
and she packs lyk the president is coming for a visit.
and yells at me for not packing.
lyk wtf.
firstly.
they're not gonna be staying in my room.
secondly.
i dont need the fucken maid to clean my room.
i lyk it dirty and messy.
i seriously dont noe wtf my mom's trying to prove.

i think there's sth quite wrong with me.
i can hardly eat nowadays.
i noe i'm fucken skinny already.
(no damien and gabe.i am NOT fat.)
i ate 2 kosong pratas the whole day today.
and i have a stash of ham my crazy mum bought.
think i have to down it soon before it turns bad.
imp opening today.
not wat i expected.
but they're doing nice skirts nowadays.
mun thinks that they're mambo-ish.
i dunnoe.
i dun really notice the skirts mambo do.
they usually costs 2 bombs.
i'm jealous tt worm's in phuket now.
i wanna be there too.
bask in the hot thai sun.
sip the ice cold beer.
sighs.
i feel lyk shit.
i need some help.

madness over at gabe's plc practically turned my biological clock from bad to worst.
we cld see how loved gabe was when that many turned up at his plc.
to kill him.
and of coz.
he got drunk.
many other pple got drunk.
pple came pple went.
my baby din even noe wat happened to him.
he cld've been drowned in the toilet bowl while puking.
as things got shitty.
i din slp.
and eventually left at 9+ to head home.
din get much of a chance to slp till 6+ in the evening.
and here i am.
fresh from my nap.
with nothing to do.
i've suddenly lost interest in watever i've been doing so far.
god.
i wish i cld start work soon.
and 12th of may wld come soon.