across oceans and over skies.

angel's blog says she wanna get married by 28.
i wanna get married young.
if i cld i be engaged by 24 and married by 26.
5 years ago
i think i said i dont wanna get married.
currently i'm dying to have my own place.
together with the man i love and a golden retriever pup.
but i've got to have the dough.
a designer apartment doesnt come cheap.
so either i work very hard
or i find someone super rich to marry.
the latter sounds like an easier choice.
but oh well
dreams are dreams
reality smacks me in the face.
i'm with a man who loves me so much
and it's all that matters for now.
i hope this feeling of "love" wldnt go away as time goes by
like how it did before.
i dont wanna love in vain.
i dont need diamonds and pearls.
i need a man who will love.

it's the 3rd day of the wake.
and i'm totally bored.
people came and people went.
leaving me to my devices.
my lappy
my snacks
and my dear peter.
he's been a doll.
staying till late everynight to keep me companied.
except for tonight.
coz he's workin'.
blardy hell.
i wanna work too.
managed to sneak out today and have a lil bit of fun.
went to sp for the first time in my life
had lunch
and slacked in the library while peter went for class.
towned.
felt good to be in town after being at the void deck for days.
gonna get back to the essentials.

been idling around like there's no tmr.
cant wait to start on my new job.
the one with the pretty girl working.
-smirks-
last night.
i spent my time talking to someone.
and for the first time in my life
he doesnt agree when i told him there's no forever.
in fact
he wants to show me forever.
i'm impressed and touched
and i wish tt forever is a long long time in his context.
at least somebody is willing to coax me into believing there's some form of "forever" out there.
i'm a skeptic.
i dont use words like "forever" or "promise".
coz these words do not exist.
they shld be erased frm the surface of the earth.
finished reading 'the time traveller's wife' at last.
i dont remember the last time i took a mth to finish a book.
but
this book is damn good.
it's way more than "damn good" la.
love is actually that strong.
the girl waited and waited for her man.
i wished the love between us cld be tt strong in time to come.
like you said.
there are so many hurdles coming our way.
i hope we can cross them tgt.

stranger no 1 shld be on her way to heaven or somewhere.
stranger no 2 was crying and is now lying on the floor in my room slping.
i was out when i got the news.
i din have much of a reaction people would be expecting.
waddya know.
she was a granma in name.
but i still wish tt she'd rest in peace.
and that there'd be more peace among blood related people.
i'm looking forward to seeing my brother.
i wonder how he looks like now.
wonder if he still smokes.
like what alot of people think
a wake is alot like a gathering.
shrugs.
there has never been any policemen in my home
as far as i know
so when i saw 2 strange looking and sounding men clad in blue
it felt wierd.
felt like someone was murdered or someone was robbed.
and that channelnewsasia would be here anytime.
but it was all in the head la.
they were really nice and understanding abt everything.
for once
i salute the singapore police force.
never knew the hassle after somebody passes away.
it's massive.
the last time somebody close passed away was abt a decade ago.
i was still a kid then.
it's still scary now
but at least
i've got someone to talk to
i know i've got someone to hold me when i need to be held.
somebody i can pour my heart's confessions to.
and i thank you for all that.

after slping for abt 11 or 12 hrs
i feel even more groggy than i did before i slpt.
mugs after mugs of wierd tasting stuff was forced down me.
slpt for abit before i went home with muns.
it was a rather wierd day la
beached with a bunch of people
got there in a really cute car.
dinnered where all 5 of us had the same thing to eat.
den to mun's
and then to bishan.
wierd day out.
but was damn good.
i wish time wld go slower.

[NOW]
happy or sad: sad.i'm sick.peter's starting sch.i'm jobless.i'm hungry.
sleepy or awake: slpy.though i slpt for 11hrs.i'm sick alrite.cut me some slack.
hungry or full: hungry.and it's not funny.haven eaten the whole day.
single or taken: hehs.wat do u think?
alone or with someone beside u: wishing there was someone next to me.
sick or healthy: coughing.with abit of runny nose.and a huge headache.
[WHAT]
you last ate: chick peas at mun's plc.
you last drank: warm honey water.
you wearing now: yellow singlet.spider webby boxers.
are you thinking of: when i'll get to watch l word epi 13 and joey epi 23.when i'll get to sit on a swing smoking and trying to count the stars.
you wishing for: happiness.to whoever is close to me.
do you overuse: nicotine.
do you take for granted: that the sun will shine every morning.and stars come out at night.
[WHO]
do you miss the most: my peter.
do you love: my groupie.my family.and my peter.
do you feel most happy with: someone who can be totally honest with me.
makes you laugh: anyone with the right sense of humour :P
makes u sleep: my mom everytime she starts nagging.
makes you cry: people i love.
makes you angry: every can make me angry.i'm a lil volcano waiting to erupt.
enlightens you: loads of people.
ill-treats you: nobody can.except peter.i will only let him abuse me.
[WHEN]
is your birthday: 30th aug!
is you wedding annivesary: i dont have one yet.
is the happiest day of your life: currently i dont have one.i guess it'll have to be the day somebody proposes to me.
did you last swear: at least 12 hrs ago.have been slping the past 12 hrs.:]
did you last have a fight: a mth ago?
[HOW]
do you overcome depression: curl up in bed.cry.eat chocolate.drink.smoke.take long cold walks.and eventually feel more alone than ever.dumb huh.
do you live your life: taking things a step at a time.
do you pass your time: watching lame ass tv.i have no cable k.surfing.reading.smoking.
do you pass your exams: study really hard.memorize all my notes.
[WHY]
do you normally get angry: coz i feel unloved.or when somebody talks too much.
do you cry: coz i'm sad.or when i'm sick.
are you who you are: coz i grow up and my mindset has changed.though i believe it'll change much more in time to come.